How a Coping Strategies Keyring Helps Me Manage Autism & Sensory Overwhelm

I recently had the absolute pleasure of asking Melody a few questions about her experience of self-regulation as a late-diagnosed autistic woman in her 30s. As someone navigating sensory overwhelm, selective mutism, and the constant layering of sound, movement, and smell in the world around her, Melody’s reflections are honest, thoughtful, and deeply moving. I felt her story might resonate with others, whether you’re autistic yourself, supporting someone who is, or simply trying to understand what regulation can look like beyond the surface. Her words offer both insight and hope. 💛

I'm Melody Roberts. I'm a late-diagnosed autistic woman in my 30s. I recently graduated from University with a degree in English. I'm fascinated by literature, advanced grammar, languages, and linguistics. I think this is because I've always had to work harder to communicate, but once I did communicate successfully, I felt connected. I craved this connection so much that I wanted to have the ability to connect with everyone in the world, regardless of the language they spoke.

When you’re out and about, what situations tend to trigger your anxiety most?

It's difficult to say specifically what triggers me when I go out, because it feels like everything triggers me. Most sounds tend to trigger me: tapping, typing, honking, doors closing, fabric swishing, dogs barking, people talking (especially over electronic devices)... Besides all that, many visual things trigger me too: jiggling legs, waving hands, fingers swiping at screens... I often get motion sickness from seeing other people move. Smells can be bad too: chemical cleaners, perfume or lotion, food—I can't even stand the smells of my favorite foods cooking! Usually, all of these types of triggers are combining and compounding one another, and my body is buzzy and confused with all this energy that's not coming from me. In those moments, I can't even think of what I can do to help myself, though I've researched many calming techniques—the only thing in my mind is a fearful mantra: "Make them stop! Scream! Get help! RUN!" Even staying at home is difficult, because my neighbors and my family trigger me too.

Where do you keep your coping skills keyring when you’re out, and how do you actually use it in the moment?

I have a small, cross-body emergency bag that never comes off my person. It contains things to help me manage sensory overwhelm, anxiety, and nausea: an ice pack, sea bands, earplugs, roll-on aromatherapy oil, ginger chews, a pocket-sized plushy, some fidgets—and my coping choices keyring! This is probably the most important thing in the bag. It's customized to contain all the various calming techniques I've come across in my research. When I'm feeling trapped and don't know what to do, I can go through the options on the keyring one by one. I have 30 options, so I try to spend at least one whole minute on each option—by the time I've gone through all options, I've been focusing on calming down for 30 minutes. This helps me to be calmer, even if I can't feel completely safe and relaxed where I am.

Which coping tools on the keyring do you use the most, and why those ones?

The coping choices I use most are the ones I can easily do anywhere without attracting too much notice: breathing exercises, stretching, muscle relaxation, closing my eyes, smiling, etc. Because I'm late diagnosed and aware of societal stigma about autism, I sometimes feel self-conscious about being obviously autistic in public. This leads me to avoid helpful self-regulating behaviors like rocking back and forth (unless it's an absolute emergency). The unobtrusive options more comfortable for me to perform in more situations.

What’s the biggest difference you’ve noticed since having it with you?

Since I started keeping the keyring with me at all times, I feel safer. Just having that safety net to fall back on gives me strength to go out more often and interact with people more often. Being in the world isn't as scary as it used to be, because I have a little self-regulation map in my pocket. It might seem small, but it's really huge to me.

 

What makes this keyring work for you as an autistic/ADHD adult (compared to other tools you’ve tried)?

This keyring works because all the options are presented in front of me. I don't need to think of what I can do to help myself, because it's all right there. It also helps that the options are presented in a linear fashion. Rather than staring at a chart and trying to figure out where I left off or what I need to do, I can flip through the options one by one. And I love that the options have cute little illustrations smiling up at me! When I feel like I'm losing control of my mind & body in the chaos of the world around me, those little smiling pictures make me feel like everything's going to be okay. Like they're my friends, and they're here to support me. I cannot emphasize enough how very helpful that is. It's the best feature of the keyring.

Who would you recommend it to (what kind of person/situation)?

Everyone can use these keyrings; they can be adapted to any situation. I've used them everywhere: home, church, restaurants, shops, public transport, the car, school—I graduated University in December 2026 and honestly don't know if it would have been possible without this keyring). I even have designated keyrings for certain places with customized options for those places, and I often rearrange the options based on which options are best for each environment or which order would be best. For example, my home keyring can have options that involve physical objects: tea, fidgets, sensory glasses, etc.—because I can always go grab those objects if they're not with me. My church keyring has only options without physical objects: breathing exercises, rolling neck & shoulders, humming—so I don't have to carry a heavy bag of stuff around with me all day. My home keyring is also laid out in the order that helps me the most, regardless of how much movement or noise I might make, while the church keyring is laid out so that my calming techniques are the least obtrusive to those around me for as long as possible.

 

Is there anything you’d want someone anxious/neurodivergent to know, something you wish you’d heard sooner?

I recommend ordering more than one keyring, even if they have the same exact options. I came to depend on my first keyring as soon as it arrived only to lose it on my commute to University a couple weeks later! I was devastated. Now I'm a bit obsessive about having spares, but it's definitely worth it.