Automatic Negative Thoughts (ANTs) Activity + Digital Download
Not every thought your child has is true
Have you ever said:
“Ahhh, don’t worry about that, it'll be fine!”? (yep, me too.)
We say it because we know it will be okay.
We’ve lived enough life to understand that one bad day doesn’t define everything.
But our children don’t have that yet.
To them, the thought feels very real.
“I’m not good enough.”
“No one likes me.”
“I always get it wrong.”
So everytime we say “don’t worry about that”,
we’re asking them to override something that feels very real in their body.
That’s why it often doesn’t land, and the cycle of worry will continue.
So what’s actually going on?
These thoughts are called automatic negative thoughts (or ANTs).
Children don’t sit and choose these thoughts.
Their brain is trying to make sense of a moment, a feeling, or an experience, and sometimes it gets it wrong.
If we don’t help them understand that,
they start to believe every thought they have.
What helps instead
Instead of trying to stop the thought completely, we can teach children what to do with it.
Here’s a simple way to break it down:
1. Stop the ANT
Pause the thought before it spirals.
This might look like gently naming it:
“Hmm… that sounds like one of those tricky thoughts.”
Giving them the skill of slowing things down and becoming more aware.
2. Reflect and identify
What’s the thought?
What feeling is showing up?
Helping children connect thoughts and feelings builds awareness.
“I can hear you’re thinking no one likes you… that sounds really lonely.”
3. What’s actually true?
This is where we gently bring in reality by exploring:
“Is there any evidence for that?”
“Has there been a time that felt different?”
We’re helping them look beyond the thought.
4. Flip and release
Now we shift the thought, not into forced positivity, but into something more balanced.
Instead of:
“No one likes me”
It might become:
“Some days feel harder, but I do have people who care about me.”
And then we can let it go.
It’s about helping children understand that thoughts aren’t facts.
That they can question them, challenge them, and take control :)
How to use the ANTs bundle
If you’re using this at home, the aim isn’t to “fix” thoughts.
It’s to make them visible, understandable, and easier to work through.
Here’s how to use each part of the bundle:
The ANTs board game
This is a simple, hands-on way to practise the skill together.
Start by spinning the ANTs wheel.
It will land on an ANT, each one linked to a colour.
Move your magnet to the matching colour on the board.
Then pause and read out the thought linked to that ANT.
(This is the moment where children often say, “I think that sometimes.”)
From there, you gently flip the thought together.
For example:
“I always get it wrong” → “Sometimes I get things wrong, but I’m still learning.”
Once you’ve flipped the thought, you move forward on the board.
If your child gets stuck, you can use the positive phrases wheel for support.
It gives them a starting point without putting pressure on them to “get it right.”
The reflection tool
There’s also a separate resource in the bundle that walks children through the full process.
This is where you can slow it down and go deeper:
- Stop the thought
- Reflect and identify
- Look at what’s true
- Flip and release
It’s helpful for those moments when a thought feels bigger, or keeps coming back.
A gentle reminder
This isn’t about correcting your child.
It’s about sitting alongside them and helping them understand what’s happening in their mind.
The more they practise this when things feel calm,
the easier it becomes to use when things feel hard.
